iwas always so excited to become a mother because it was something I was dreaming about for years. However, I never thought about how hard mentally, physically and emotionally exhausting it would be as a first-time mom.

It is true when people say that having children changes your life. Having our little angel has made for some really tough days and nights but the moments where my baby looks at me and I see nothing but love in her eyes or when I secretly watch my husband and baby laughing uncontrollably together reminds me that it’s all worth it.

The first month after having our baby was challenging and I think it is for most first time mothers. During that first month, my body was still recovering, my breasts were in pain from nursing, and I was trying to figure out how to balance love, care and attention to my husband, our new baby and myself.

I use to think that I had to be in mom mode all time because if I wasn’t I was letting down my baby. I was constantly spinning my mom mode wheels 24/7 and it was draining. I had no energy to smile, laugh or be myself and I felt like I was being stretched thin.

After months of feeling completely drained, I realized that I if I was going to be an amazing mom I always wanted to be I needed to take a break. I needed to have times to just myself to do things I loved and to relax.

Only after that realization have I started to become the mom I always wanted to be. Am I perfect? absolutely not! I still have those days where my energy is drained and I the feelings of stress and frustration overwhelm me.

But in order to be the wife and mother, I want to be I need to take a break to also show love, care, and attention to myself and make sure my needs are being met. My husband is great at helping me to make sure I take care of myself.

When he gets home from work he takes the baby for a bit and allows me to have time for myself. Luckily we have been blessed that our baby goes to bed at 8 p.m which allows even more alone time and time to spend with my husband before going to bed.

I have learned to be okay that our house is messy or how my husband puts it “lived in” I have learned to let go of the little things that push my buttons because allowing those things to control my attitude controls my life.

I am in control of my life, not my thoughts or my attitude.

It is okay if the laundry doesn’t get folded right away

It is okay if there are dishes in the sink

It is okay if you do nothing all day

It is okay to take a break from being a mom!

Having our baby in our life is the best thing and that hardest but most rewarding thing that has happened to us. And as a first-time mom to another remember it is okay…

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Kara is a co-founder of the Dollar Mommy Club and a full-momma and who loves every minute of it. Ever since she was a little girl (around two years old actually) she has wanted a baby of her own. She even asked her mom for “a crying and pooping baby doll” for Christmas when she was just 6 years old. Certain events took place to where Kara was diagnosed with Endometriosis, and doctors told her that having her own children might be impossible. She spent years trying to figure out her health by trying everything under the sun that you can think of. It wasn’t until a few years after she was married that both she and her husband figured it out, and they were blessed with their first baby girl! When Kara isn’t managing the Dollar Mommy Club and it’s wonderful members and contributors, she enjoys spending time with family, binge-watching The Office on Netflix, and creating art.

37 COMMENTS

  1. As a seasoned mom of 5, I can tell you it’s one of the hardest yet most rewarding jobs I’ve ever had. I tend to pick my battles and forgive myself for the rough days. Taking time to just be you without the mom is always hard but I try

  2. It’s definitely important to know everything will be okay. I’m glad there’s such a great support network out there to remind us.

  3. I am not a mom but whenever I think about it and how life would take a turn after having a baby really makes me shudder. There are moments when I even think if I am ready for it or not but then i think you eventually figure it out.

  4. It is hard being a first time mom. I think of my mom barley 20 having me and my brother and leaving her country and everything she knew…..must have been very hard for her. Its nice to know, now in this day and age we have a way to connect and find people and read these types of blogs for advice.

  5. Yes! I think you hit the nail on the head about having to provide self-care first before caring for others. A lot of the times we forget the value of self and we get lost in others.

    • Yes, it can be very hard. I bet you are doing an amazing job at being a single mother! your child will see how strong you are!

  6. Having a child is the greatest gift a mom could ever have! Though it’s exhausting mentally, physically and emotionally it’s worth it. We waited for 5 years and I thank God for giving me 2 amazing kids.

  7. My sister really had a tough time when she had her first baby. Good thing we are there to support her. I sometimes take care of mu niece until now.

  8. The adjustment is never easy and it’s really going to surprise you how much your life is going to change but it’s definitely all worth it. I think moms should go easy on themselves.

  9. I am not a mother yet, but I love this post. I am actually petrified to have children because I am afraid of how my life will change. Don’t get me wrong, I want to have kids… I just don’t know if I’ll miss a kid-free life. I love reading posts about new mothers so I have somewhat of an idea what to expect, although I’m sure it’s still pretty unpredictable!

    • I was the same way. I was sad to leave my kid-free life but ever since my baby is born I have not missed it one bit! I think life is more fun with my child:)

  10. Being a parent is the hardest, yet most rewarding thing I have ever done. I have two kids and the second was just as hard as the first. Actually, harder for me because I had to have an emergency cesarean with him so it was even more of a recovery. I also had to learn that being in “mom mode” 24/7 wasn’t great for any of us.
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  11. I absolutely love this post. I remember when I was a first time mom and it was all or nothing. I was literally draining myself of all energy. It wasn’t until baby number 2 many years later that I realized how important taking a break is. Self care and Self love are all a part of the journey. I have definitely learned to let go and live with the sink full of dishes and the basket of clothes that has yet to be folded. It’s fantastic that you have a supportive partner too. Thank you for sharing,

    • I am go glad you love this post:) Letting go is one of the biggest lessons I have learned since becoming a mother.

  12. I love this and I do agree with you on everything, you just have to tell yourself that it’s okay and one shouldn’t be striving for perfection just give it your best.

  13. Can this count for puppy moms? Because I don’t plan on having kids, but I got a new puppy, and holy crap, I have time for literally nothing but her. It’s crazy how much time a puppy take!

    • haha! I don’t own a dog but I have heard that having a dog is almost like having a child so I guess it can count lol!

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