Every parent dreads public tantrums, for good reasons. You worry that other moms will judge you and think that you are a bad parent and that you raise out of control children.
Every parent most likely has had their children throw a tantrum at the store or out in public which parents get embarrassed by. Tantrums are apart of every child’s life it is a phase that is just going to happen.
However, there are many ways to deal with tantrums. Play around with many to find what is going to work with your child because each child is different. Below are 8 ways on how to deal with toddler tantrums.
The goal of these jars is to simply help calm your child down. They help to calm the emotional part of the brain that’s fired up at the moment. Once your child has calm down help him or her process what he or she is feeling.
Children are sometimes don’t understand their feelings or know how to process them. Being able to talk with your child about what they are feeling will help them when those emotions rise again.
Not giving in to your child’s demands can teach them that throwing a fit is not going to get what they want.
Being patient and not let your nerves get worked up is hard when your child is yelling, kicking and screaming but, by reaming calm makes it so the situation doesn’t turn into a yelling match.
Check out our post – Tips For Getting Your Kids To Listen To You
While your child is throwing a tantrum calmly say that you will love to talk with them once they have calmed down. This is a way to let your child know that they are upset but that they can communicate it in a better way than throwing a tantrum.
Hug it out
Now, this may not work for every child but wrapping your arms tightly around the child and rocking them back and forth or just hold them can help them feel grounded and can lead to them calming down.
“AT THE ROOT OF EVERY TANTRUM AND POWER STRUGGLE ARE UNMET NEEDS.”
Take A Deep Breath
Before asking your child to take a deep breath take one yourself. No problem is going to get resolved when there is frustration in your voice when you go to talk with them.
Once your child had agreed to talk to you first ask them to take 3 deep breaths and do it with them. Doing it with them will show you are willing to work with them.
Taking 3 deep breaths calms the body and mind. When you are both calm it is easier to figure out the problem and come up with a solution.
Find Out What The Real Problem Is
If you don’t know what the problem is how are you going to find a solution?
Children under two may only know a few words or phrases so being able to communicate is a little difficult.
One solution is to teach your children sign language such as food, more, milk, tired can solve many tantrums that may arise from words they can not speak.
For children that are able to speak fluently, it is easier to figure out what the problem is. You may ask them to show you what they want or are able to tell you why they are upset. Once you find the problem be creative and calm when helping them find a solution.
At times this turning a tantrum into a teaching experience is challenging especially if you are both frustrated.
Tantrums are a great time once your child has calmed to teach them to understand their feelings and finding save ways on how to deal with those feelings.
If your child is upset because another child is playing with the toy they want to turn it into teaching different problem-solving techniques such as find a toy the other child would like and they could switch toys.
Or having your child play with a different toy until the one they want to become available. Teaching Problem solving techniques will help them to solve problems themselves instead of them throwing a tantrum because they are not getting what they want.
Laughter Is The Best Medicine
At the start of a tantrum create a fun game or a fun way to get their mind off what they are getting upset about.
Laughter can completely change the mood for you and your child. Laughter is a great way to diffuse a tantrum before it starts.
There are many parents that don’t use time-out because they have tried in the past and noticed that it doesn’t help. Time-out if done correctly can be an amazing tool you can use to correct your child’s misbehaviors.
Placing your child in a boring room to learn that their misbehavior is wrong is worth it. There is a lot that parent miss when using time-out. That is why they feel that time-out simply doesn’t work.
Check out 13 Mistakes Parents Make When Using Time-out to see what mistakes you may be making and check out the PDF to see how you can do it correctly!
Let Them Be Independent
Almost all children go through a stage of wanting to do things all by themselves so let them.
As a parent, we like things to get done a certain way and we may get frustrated when they want to help but they are doing it completely wrong.
That is okay, let your child mess up if they are trying to help you clean instead of having them watch a TV show give them a simple task they can do and it won’t matter if they mess up.
Children want to experience things by themselves that is how they learn and grow. Just like adults, we learn from our mistakes. Children need to learn and experiment on their own as parents we guide and help them to do that.
Letting your child have their independent moments will help to avoid tantrums in the first place.