find your potential,

Hey everyone! I have an amazing guest post done by Denis Sinem Tunca from Denis Tunca

I am excited to share this with you because Denis is an amazing woman! 

Denis give some awesome advice on how to find your passions again after having children. As moms, we often forget that we can still do the things we love even after having children. 

Denis walks you through on how to find yourself again in an amazing and powerful way! So check out her post and let her know what you think! 


 

being a mother is a unique thing to live for a woman. Mostly the aftermath of becoming a mother is magical and miracle experience that will change our lives for good!

I am a mother of one and she will be 2 in June 🙂 Love her with every single cell in my body. I don’t even understand how it is humanly possible to love someone that much 🙂

My little road runner (she is an energy bomb, to say the least) decided to come a month earlier than planned. I knew it and felt it so I was prepared mentally.

When Nisa (my daughter a.k.a. Roadrunner) came to the world it was less than perfect and later on more complicated than we could image. She was on the border of a premature baby with her 36 weeks being 2kg and 43cm.

We discovered approx three hours later that I was bleeding heavily and no-one way knew why. I was in laying position for at least 6-8 hours in the operation room with my husband beside me that takes care both of me and our little daughter who wants to be fed.

Having lost that much blood (my husband told me “the operating room was like a scene from a horror movie”) we didn’t know that I didn’t have any milk to breastfeed my daughter with, because I had it after giving birth. After three days stay at the hospital Nisa had jaundice due to poor feeding and we had to leave her at the hospital for the night for treatment.

  • This is where I took over the control

I was devastated by the thought of leaving her even if I knew it was for the best. When I was leaving the room I turn back to see her one last time and I made up my mind. I WAS GOING TO BE STRONG FOR HER! SHE NEEDED ME.

I took this opportunity for a good night sleep and rest. I would regroup and organize my brain in order to do things my way. Breastfeeding, pumping to start milk production, taking good care of her sensitive small body etc.

I was focused. I took control over my emotional state and I CHANGED IT by taking action IN MY BRAIN!

  • Who is that?

Every woman changes after her first birth experience. A new world and you just move into it 🙂 Every priority list, plan after birth is gone and that bright light in your brain gives you the constant message. BE THE BEST MOM YOU EVER CAN BE!

The genetic coding makes us do and think like this. This is for our survival. Time will pass by and at some point, the blinds will be removed, the autopilot will be closed and you will start to see again. You will be left with a huge question mark.

This strong feeling will mix up with being unsure about who you are and notice that you are swimming in The Ocean of Confusion.

Your mother identity has been so overpowering that you probably haven’t thought about yourself, you needed to you prioritized your baby. But when the time comes and (s)he starts to be easier to handle, starting to take care of herself (around 1,5 years old), can express what (s)he wants and doesn’t need you that much. Then you face the reality, WHAT NOW?

I have been there so I am not judging. This process will vary for everyone, those who get back to work finds themselves easier then stay at home mothers. Some will see before and some later. Mine came 1,5 years after my birth experience.

  • Not knowing

This eye-opening experience brings lots of questions about it and leaves you feeling LOST. You have done everything in your power for your kid. What are you going to do now? What do I even like? How do I feel about x, y, z? Do I want to get back to work? But I can’t leave my kid in daycare, it’s very expensive! I want to have my freedom of working from home.

The list will just keep on going…

  • This is where you are making or breaking it

You need to make up your mind! Decide on something and take action!
This is where I get into the picture for many ladies who KNOWS that they want to be a business owner and work from home, even if they don’t know what. They have their dreams and wants to accomplish them. Easy as that!

I attempted to start at least 3-4 businesses and failed to complete them. I did some investment as well and guess what happened? Nothing! I learned the hard way to become driven, focused, clear-minded and appreciative of what I am good at.

I am going to guide you as well in order to help you take action. I don’t want you to lose time as I did.

STEP 1 – What is your life purpose?
This one is one of the cornerstones for your success. This one is what will give you the fulfillment, drive, energy, purpose.

Why do you live in this world? This is nothing material or family related. You need to dig deep. What have you done your whole life? What did you chase after? Why?

Mine is to help people. I get so uncomfortable when I can’t help people. It doesn’t matter if it is financial, mental, psychological. I have even been misunderstood because of me trying to help people. But that desire never changed. I have to help people in order to feel good.

What is your purpose?

STEP 2 – What are you good at?
Have a look at your life. What was the shining point in your school life, your work, what role are you automatically carrying when you are with your friends?
What are your strengths? What do you do the best? What do others say you are good at?

STEP 3 – What are your dreams?
This is probably the easy part. Where do you want to be in a year? 5 years? What is your craziest dream? How would you feel if you accomplish it?

  • Time to mix things up

These three areas need to be written down. You could write endlessly (except for life purpose) and see how you can combine it to find what your business will be about. Teaching? Support others? Selling handmade products? Coach them through a process? Organizing? Cleaning?
I recommend you to feel it out, ask others, ask for support to see things clearer. Others see things about us easier than we do.

If you need a small push and support on finding your dream path, if you need some clearance, finding confidence in yourself, know how to be driven, to find a direction in life I am at your service.


In Conclusion 

I have found that even after having my baby I needed something to do for myself. I love being a mother and my baby filled my heart with love and joy. But I knew that if I was going to be a strong mom for my daughter I needed to work on myself and so something I love besides being a mom. 

If you are looking to find yourself again you can schedule a free 30-minute call with Denis call here

I want nothing more than for you to live your fullest potential as a woman and mother! Let me know in the comments what you think! 

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Kara is a co-founder of the Dollar Mommy Club and a full-momma and who loves every minute of it. Ever since she was a little girl (around two years old actually) she has wanted a baby of her own. She even asked her mom for “a crying and pooping baby doll” for Christmas when she was just 6 years old. Certain events took place to where Kara was diagnosed with Endometriosis, and doctors told her that having her own children might be impossible. She spent years trying to figure out her health by trying everything under the sun that you can think of. It wasn’t until a few years after she was married that both she and her husband figured it out, and they were blessed with their first baby girl! When Kara isn’t managing the Dollar Mommy Club and it’s wonderful members and contributors, she enjoys spending time with family, binge-watching The Office on Netflix, and creating art.

21 COMMENTS

  1. I absolutely love everything about this post. So much can change once you have kids or have a major life changing event. You have to venture into the unknown to be able to grow.

  2. I can understand the instinct to want to be around your child to protect them, especially during those formative years. I wish I had more time to be around my child then. Between working full time and grad school I barely had time for anything else. I tried to give my daughter what was left. And it was hard when she wanted Daddy time and I had a hard time giving it to her. That’s great you found ways to be driven and found what’s best for you after having kids. I think it’s so important.

  3. Though Im not a mother yet myself I feel as though Motherhood is the most beautiful thing you can be blessed with.. it’s a fulfilling experience seeing your little one grow and blossom and I for one can’t wait to be one. 🙂

  4. A lot of this sounds similar to my first birth experience. My son was born at 37+1, induced for pre-eclampsia. He had to go to the nursery for the first 24 hours on IV for low blood sugars, then I was discharged and he had to stay an extra night for jaundice. It’s amazing what someone so tiny can do to your heart! Motherhood is a crazy, exhausting, but wonderful ride!
    Stephanie recently posted…Herbs and Veggies that are Easy to Grow in SpringMy Profile

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